hot child in the city!

Sweater: Missoni for Target; Destroyed Denim: Rag & Bone; Necklace: Happiness Boutique, Sunglasses: Prada; Platform Suede Shoes: Steve Madden

Location: Greenwich Village, NYC

At long last - my first outfit post from NYC! These photos were captured during my first week of orientation at Parsons. As you can see from the smile on my face, I am absolutely ecstatic about starting this new life of mine. I have never been surrounded by so many like minded people that share similar interests blended with an ambitious drive to create/do something bigger than themselves. It is incredible but also slightly intimidating. As recent as yesterday, I have officially completed my first week of classes and let me tell you: I dramatically underestimated how much work graduate school actually is (even when it's something I find terribly interesting!) I found myself asking these questions: Can I do this? Do I really want to do this? Is this worth the investment? However, it occurred to me, that's just the fear and self doubt talking.. as a good friend once told me, "Kelly, people don't do things all of the time because they are scared. The thing is, fear is never rooted in rational fact, ever. Don't believe me? Multiple studies support this notion. Fear is something constructed personally based on your own experiences of life. You have nothing to be afraid of." Remembering this quote during this transition is beyond comforting..

As happy as I am that I made the decision to move across the entire country alone with no support from family, financially or otherwise; this has been anything but a smooth transition. I won't go into all the details now but, damn! Silver lining: I am learning one hell of a lot about life! So much more than I ever could have if I stayed in California. I also finally feel like a fit somewhere, I feel at home in NYC, a feeling I never had in California. I know this adjustment period is temporary, the word fortitude comes to mind when I think about my life at this present moment.

Thought you might enjoy this: @ The New School, University Center for the first time. You can't fake a smile that big! 

They, (whoever they are) say the things worth doing in life are also the most challenging, what do you think? Thank you all for your tremendous support always. I feel lucky to have such a supportive blogging community behind me.

XOXO

Kelly

it's not christmas, but here's my wishlist!

Greetings and salutations all! This is my first post from NYC and it even feels different. Never have I hopped off a plane and instantly felt "home". It's an incredible feeling, both electric and addictive. I spent the whole day apartment and hunting and I think I found some real contenders.. TBD however.. PS: Today I learned how to ride the subway, getting real serious about this whole New Yorker thing aren't I now?

Long story short, or short story long, I'm a student again and therefore my budget has been dramatically chopped. So what's a girl to do when she still wants to look phresh but can no longer afford the real expensive threads..? I'll tell you: Dresslink.com! 

(1) Casual Green Cardigan Long Vest. The long vest trend, it's official, it's here to stay I need one right now and so do you. In a place as humid as NYC, this is the perfect outerwear for a HOT AUGUST NIGHT!

(2) Casual Crochet Lace Dress. The LWD or "little white dress", a term that I never heard until this summer. I'm thinking this is maybe because I rarely wear white since I figured out I am just not the girl that can do that without spilling all over it. What do you guys think? Has the LWD been around or is it one of those weird new kids that I am strangely intrigued by?

(3) Chiffon Floral Open Cut Kimono. Thank you Japan. I haven't owned a kimono since 4th grade when I saw one in a thrift store and made my mom buy it for me, but then she stole it and now I want another! I've waited long enough haven't I? Also, this price? And it's chiffon? HELLO :)

(4) Asymmetrical Split Party Dress. Hope this isn't too redundant of me, posting about (2) white dresses and all. Especially after I just stated I have a hard time with white, but I guess I'm feeling extra confident in myself tonight. Since I'm single, in NYC, it's a scorcher out here, and well I just don't have any dresses this sexy right now I thought it was about time. Don't you?

The summer is slowly coming to an end so be sure to keep the rest of sexy! Oh AND shop dress link!

XOXO Kelly

can feminism and fashion coexist?

Sweater: Mink Pink; Sunglasses: Nordstrom's; Tank: Touvre; Jeans + Necklace: J.Crew; Booties: Target

The great debate, has been a long standing one. Mostly because being stylish was, and still is, synonymous with being flighty, or otherwise incapable of having anything but superfluous interests. 

In the late 1890s and early 1900s the suffragist movement in the U.S. was finally starting to garner traction and validation. At a time where women needed one another more than anything, the original suffragettes actually denied women participation. A main reason was cited as being: "too stylish." Implying that if you take an interest in your outward appearance, predominantly clothing, you are evidently too frivolous to care about major political movements, namely women obtaining the right to vote. 

In fact it wasn't until the 1990s (the decade of my birth, coincidence?) during the third wave of feminism that fashionable women, were considered feminists by feminists (my this is getting redundant!) The fact that this notion has only come about in my lifetime is frankly, appalling. Obviously, this issue is of grave importance to me, being that fashion is my platform for self expression and where I have found my voice. The implication that since fashion is an interest of mine, and therefore I am unsuited to have any other passions, is degrading to say the least. There are women far less into clothing than myself that don't vote, let alone even know the definition of "feminism." Let me help you with that.

As defined by Merriam-Webster, 

FEMINISM: The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. 

Feminism does not equate to man hating or man shaming, it simply means that women should be treated as equals and therefore be afforded the same opportunities. Anyone who actually thinks this has been achieved is either completely unaware and uninformed of the current status quo, or a man (see: male privilege: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/proof-male-privilege/).

Coming full circle: Women denying women access to the suffragist movement based solely on appearance, in ways influenced the way men treat us today. The way women treat women, the way you treat yourself, this all factors into how men learn to treat women. See where I am going with the appearance thing? Honestly, paying more attention woman's clothing than her ideas is insulting. In my humble opinion, Feminism + Fashion can coexist. On that note, what do you think of my outfit? Notice how I explained all my ideas first? :) #priorities

Passive Aggressive Men: Why They're Not Worth It And Never Will Be

Passivity by nature is something I am weary of when it comes to friends, and especially the men I become involved with. As passivity is often coupled with something much more red flag worthy - aggression. Myself, being overly blunt in most situations, has never had much patience for passive aggression. Say what you mean so we can move on! Nothing is less sexy than a passive man. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Instead, passive men do the said activity and make you pay for it later in covert ways that leave your head spinning as to why he is acting in such a way.

AVOID PEOPLE THAT AVOID CONFLICT AT ALL COSTS

Humans are incredibly varied, even being from the same family, same town, same school, none of this really matters because of inherent differences that make us special. Conflicts undoubtedly arise, and it's juvenile of you to think this is something that can be avoided. Screaming matches that involve slamming doors, throwing iPhones at walls, or black paint on a white carpet are at the very least non-productive. In fact, they are extremely unhealthy. However, expressing your thoughts and feelings is something you should unquestionably be able to do. If he starts to say in response, "You're so demanding. You're over-analyzing," that's degrading and conveniently takes all the blame off him and shifts it to you. Never apologize or question having respect for yourself. You know how you want to be treated, how you should be treated. If something bothers you, you should be able to talk about it openly, honestly, maturely with your partner. If you attempt to do this and your partner starts in along the lines of, "I don't like conflict. I don't like fighting. I don't think this. I don't want to do this." You are dealing with a passive aggressive man. What he's really saying is: "I don't want to be criticized, or to admit I have done anything wrong. You call me out when I do something you don't agree with, and I don't like it. I cannot show that I have become emotionally attached to you." 

PLAYING THE VICTIM

Suddenly, everything is your fault! He can't win for losing and he just, "Can't do anything right!!!" This man is excellent at making you feel like you have wronged him, he is incapable of making situations about anything except him. You're upset about something that happened at work earlier so naturally he exclaims, "Wow I must have done something wrong! I know I did!" Apparently everything you do is about him, as if you don't have a life and interests of your own outside of the relationship. Which is insulting to say the least.

HE'S AFRAID OF YOU

#Pussy. You already have one, you don't need another one! Most of the time, he'll tell you he's scared. Don't think that's 'cute', or something charming. He's afraid of developing emotions and feelings for someone he cannot control. Do not kid yourself. This calm, cool, collected guy is anything but. This is why they can be so hard to differentiate. Passive aggression is all about control. Withholding actual thoughts and feelings and punishing you for them at later dates so that the doesn't have to go through the 'trouble' of being open. God forbid he expose any part of himself. He never argues, he tries to see you, he is just such a nice guy.. The message is puzzling because it sends the opposite message than most negative behaviors send. The only women I've seen able to be in a relationship with a man like this are passive aggressive themselves. Therefore avoiding any sort of real intimacy or disclosure from both parties. #UnLatched

TAKE AWAY MESSAGE

It's entirely normal to get angry or frustrated when something that's angry or frustrating happens. It's perfectly healthy to communicate this message in a mature way to your partner. If they care for you, and want to make their relationship with you work, they will apologize and take responsibility if need be. This course of action is a two-way street, meaning you have to listen and take responsibility as well.. My two-cents: Avoid passive aggressive men unless you are a mind-reader and have exceedingly low expectations.