Are You Really Happy? or Just Comfortable? [Dia&Co]

Comfortability, happiness, to many people these terms are seen as synonymous - but are they really? Being comfortable, despite being wonderful, can be a dangerous thing. When you get comfortable you take things for granted without realizing and often get stuck in ruts unable to figure out why. In my experience, the most comfortable people are often the most unhappy. 

This unhappiness is apparent to me in the clothing that people wear, or don't wear. A lot of times our choice in clothing is on auto-pilot and we can find ourselves saying things like, "I could never pull that off," or "Is this really me?" I'm going to tell you all a secret: anyone can pull anything off. It's about silencing that voice in your head that tells you, "Is this too much? Will people get it? What will people think about me since I'm wearing this? Will I come off a certain way?" We all have these thoughts from time to time, yes, even me! 

If you're not familiar with the company, Dia&Co it's time to get familiar. Dia&Co is an online personal styling service exclusively for plus size women styling 12-32. Though not being plus size myself, I deeply admire a company that inspires women of different body types to step outside their heads and the shameful words the fashion industry inflicts on us. "If you're heavy, don't wear horizontal stripes, wear black only it's slimming, never show your stomach unless it's perfectly flat, wear clothes that don't attract attention to your body." We've all heard it, and I for one am OVER it. 

Spotted: kellmenow wearing articles of clothing she was previously afraid of

1) Flares. I used to believe they were only for 5th graders and disco dancers from the 70s. Here I am wearing them. On 2 separate occasions!

2) Crop tops. I used to think by wearing them I would send the message that I was too "full of myself," and everyone would think I was showing off. Now IDGAF what people think.

3) I used to think pairing opposite items, a Nordic Christmas sweater + dominatrix necklace was ghastly. Now I think it's dope!

Inspired by this I decided to try an outfit that I've never worn before. Aren't those the most fun? Before moving to New York, I NEVER wore tights. In fact, I hated them. I thought they accentuated me in all of the wrong places and couldn't be bothered to wear them. For this post I decided to buy a pair of gray tights with a fun pattern from Nordstrom Rock, a pair it with a $20 Burberry skirt I got thrifting, a furry black vest I received interning at Diesel and my favorite shoe to wear around New York, Doc Martens. At first, wearing tights felt weird. I thought everyone could tell I was self conscious in them, but  all of a sudden this weird thing started happening - I started receiving compliments. Shocking? Not really. Your mind is the only thing holding you back - this is applicable to literally everything in life. The only limitations you have are the ones you place on yourself.

Dia&Co has inspired this post in many ways because not only are they a styling service, they are a brand that focuses on a rather underserved market of fashion. Fashion is not just for skinny minis! For $20, Dia&Co sends you five clothing items that you can either send back or choose to purchase, and they exclusively serve plus size women. You can choose your style: edgy, boho, preppy, prints and colors you interested, or perhaps not so interested in. There are a plethora of pricing categories to select and you are able to easily choose one that fits your budget. Each box comes complete with an encouraging note to step outside your comfort zone and, be a little scandalous! 

My encouragement to all of you: Wear an outfit you've never worn. Put something together you've always been nervous to do, and send it to me! I'd love to see.

Bye self restricting thoughts! Get lost! I am working these tights!

XOXO kellygirl 

my wcw: kristi pawlowicz of 522 envy

I consider myself incredibly lucky to be a part of such an empowering community of bloggers. I, in fact, am so inspired by the women that I have had the privilege of interacting with and getting to know, that I was moved to action. When a woman strikes me as encouraging, passionate, and above all working to empower other women, I take notice. The world gives women a hard enough time as it is, the last thing we should be doing is tearing each other down. Growing up I had no positive female role models, this was something I always yearned for. I want to change this for any other women that may have had a similar experience, or perhaps be that woman for young girls.

Starting this week, I will be featuring a new series on my blog: Woman Crush Wednesday. Each Wednesday I will be focusing on a woman that works to enliven others through her work, or simply just by being herself. This week’s feature, and kicking off the series is fellow blogger, owner of 522 Envy, the intrepid Kristi Pawlowicz.

Exhilarated by her urban surroundings in Chicago and how that influenced her style, Kristi created 522 Envy. Envy 522 is an online boutique with a diverse selection of garments ranging from bra-lettes to blazers, catering to young professional women in their 20s and 30s. 522 Envy even has a storefront in Chicago where Kristi is based – if you are in the area do yourself a favor and check it out!

I had the good fortune of being able to sit down with Kristi and find out what really drives and inspires her. I found Kristi’s message overwhelming positive and thought it would benefit not only myself and my endeavors; but also the aspirations of you, my dear followers! In my eyes there is nothing more forceful then a self-made woman and Kristi is one deserving of admiration. Now do us all a favor and check out 522Envy.com!

The Interview:

Kelly: What makes your online boutique stand out from others? What is different about it?

Kristi: 522 Envy is a business, but we are also real people. The same girls that are modeling the clothes on Instagram are also helping customers every day in the boutique. We get to know our customers on a personal level, and people seem to really love that personal touch that translates from their phone to the physical store.

Kelly: What inspired you to create this brand? Is it what you thought it would be? More? Less? Exactly?

Kristi: I say that 522 Envy was just born a few months ago when I decided to end my licensing agreement with a group of stores called "Envy." I rebranded the boutique by adding the 522, a nod to our address at 522 Davis Street, and we thought about our customer much more carefully.

The 522 gal is much inspired by my life in Chicago. Like many of my customers, my urban lifestyle affects my wardrobe as well as my taste. There is a practical aspect of living in or near a city, but there is also very vibrant and creative spirit that lives within Chicago and the near suburbs like Evanston. I look around to the girl standing next to me on the train, or to the table of girls grabbing drinks after work, and those are my inspiration for what to curate into the boutique. 

Kelly: How do you feel about the Nineteenth Amendment?

Kristi: Obviously the 19th Amendment opened the doors for women to take an active role in their government and their livelihood. I always take the time to vote, and I also am very vocal about supporting candidates that support small businesses. I think it is important that we don't allow the government to get in the way of our community's businesses, because they are the building blocks of local economies. It's great that the 19th amendment allows me to voice that opinion with my vote.  

Kelly: What kind of woman are you trying to attract with your brand?

Kristi: Our typical customer is a young professional in her 20s and 30s. She is busy with work but her lifestyle always presents her with fun things to do in the evenings and weekends. She mixes comfortable with fashionable, and needs interchangeable pieces from day-to-night.

Kelly: Let's say 522 Envy blows up (which we all think it will) - who is your direct competition? 

Kristi: 522 girls also really love Zara, Top Shop, and Akira, to name a few!

Kelly: What is 522 Envy's mission statement?

Kristi: I don't think I've ever formally made one, honestly! However, on our "About" Page on 522envy.com, we always say, "We love helping you feel good in everything you wear, but most importantly, we love outfits that are affordable for everyone." I think that is a great description for our on-trend and affordable style combined with our personalized customer attention. 

Kelly: What motivates you everyday? Where did you get your dedication and drive from?

Kristi: I've always been a self-motivating and competitive person by nature. However, it's not always easy to sustain it on a day-to-day level. First and foremost, my customers motivate me. I am the happiest when I hear stories from my customers about how they got compliments all night, or they felt so good in what they were wearing. That is not only motivating, but inspiring. On a more personal level, my fiancé is a huge source of motivation. He keeps me accountable to all my crazy ideas, and always provides a "can't quit" attitude when I need it.

Kelly: What advice would you give other young women on how to cultivate dedication?

Kristi: I think it's easiest to be dedicated to something when you are able to see the situation realistically. Being dedicated to something means you are 100% all in. You're 100% in even when you're sick, even when you're tired, and even when you hate it. You have to be okay with hating it some days, because you probably will. In my experience, it becomes much easier to stay committed to something when you understand that it is not always glamorous and fun. I hope that doesn't come off as negative, but I think people lose their motivation when it becomes too hard. But the reality is that it IS hard, and that's just part of the process. 

All in all, I had a wonderful time getting to know Kristi better and I hope you did as well! What do you think of my new series?

XOXO

Kelly

can feminism and fashion coexist?

Sweater: Mink Pink; Sunglasses: Nordstrom's; Tank: Touvre; Jeans + Necklace: J.Crew; Booties: Target

The great debate, has been a long standing one. Mostly because being stylish was, and still is, synonymous with being flighty, or otherwise incapable of having anything but superfluous interests. 

In the late 1890s and early 1900s the suffragist movement in the U.S. was finally starting to garner traction and validation. At a time where women needed one another more than anything, the original suffragettes actually denied women participation. A main reason was cited as being: "too stylish." Implying that if you take an interest in your outward appearance, predominantly clothing, you are evidently too frivolous to care about major political movements, namely women obtaining the right to vote. 

In fact it wasn't until the 1990s (the decade of my birth, coincidence?) during the third wave of feminism that fashionable women, were considered feminists by feminists (my this is getting redundant!) The fact that this notion has only come about in my lifetime is frankly, appalling. Obviously, this issue is of grave importance to me, being that fashion is my platform for self expression and where I have found my voice. The implication that since fashion is an interest of mine, and therefore I am unsuited to have any other passions, is degrading to say the least. There are women far less into clothing than myself that don't vote, let alone even know the definition of "feminism." Let me help you with that.

As defined by Merriam-Webster, 

FEMINISM: The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. 

Feminism does not equate to man hating or man shaming, it simply means that women should be treated as equals and therefore be afforded the same opportunities. Anyone who actually thinks this has been achieved is either completely unaware and uninformed of the current status quo, or a man (see: male privilege: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/proof-male-privilege/).

Coming full circle: Women denying women access to the suffragist movement based solely on appearance, in ways influenced the way men treat us today. The way women treat women, the way you treat yourself, this all factors into how men learn to treat women. See where I am going with the appearance thing? Honestly, paying more attention woman's clothing than her ideas is insulting. In my humble opinion, Feminism + Fashion can coexist. On that note, what do you think of my outfit? Notice how I explained all my ideas first? :) #priorities