can feminism and fashion coexist?

Sweater: Mink Pink; Sunglasses: Nordstrom's; Tank: Touvre; Jeans + Necklace: J.Crew; Booties: Target

The great debate, has been a long standing one. Mostly because being stylish was, and still is, synonymous with being flighty, or otherwise incapable of having anything but superfluous interests. 

In the late 1890s and early 1900s the suffragist movement in the U.S. was finally starting to garner traction and validation. At a time where women needed one another more than anything, the original suffragettes actually denied women participation. A main reason was cited as being: "too stylish." Implying that if you take an interest in your outward appearance, predominantly clothing, you are evidently too frivolous to care about major political movements, namely women obtaining the right to vote. 

In fact it wasn't until the 1990s (the decade of my birth, coincidence?) during the third wave of feminism that fashionable women, were considered feminists by feminists (my this is getting redundant!) The fact that this notion has only come about in my lifetime is frankly, appalling. Obviously, this issue is of grave importance to me, being that fashion is my platform for self expression and where I have found my voice. The implication that since fashion is an interest of mine, and therefore I am unsuited to have any other passions, is degrading to say the least. There are women far less into clothing than myself that don't vote, let alone even know the definition of "feminism." Let me help you with that.

As defined by Merriam-Webster, 

FEMINISM: The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. 

Feminism does not equate to man hating or man shaming, it simply means that women should be treated as equals and therefore be afforded the same opportunities. Anyone who actually thinks this has been achieved is either completely unaware and uninformed of the current status quo, or a man (see: male privilege: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/proof-male-privilege/).

Coming full circle: Women denying women access to the suffragist movement based solely on appearance, in ways influenced the way men treat us today. The way women treat women, the way you treat yourself, this all factors into how men learn to treat women. See where I am going with the appearance thing? Honestly, paying more attention woman's clothing than her ideas is insulting. In my humble opinion, Feminism + Fashion can coexist. On that note, what do you think of my outfit? Notice how I explained all my ideas first? :) #priorities

you don't like the clothes I wear, how I do my hair, I don't really care..

Boyfriend Jeans: Rag & Bone; Heeled Booties: Sam & Libby; Textured Sweater: Raga; Sunglasses: Forever 21; Necklace (my own)

The older I get the more I realize how many haters I have, and how quickly I unabashedly extract myself from their 'friendship'. As someone that experiments often with their clothing/lifestyle I am no stranger to hearing negative comments masked in concern, I also forget them as quickly as I hear them. So you can judge someone, so you can be negative? Wow, how original! How boring. It's easy to criticize, it's harder to create.

For all the people that always say, "Oh that looks so good on you; but I could NEVER pull that off." Why? Why can't you pull it off? Because you're scared of what other people will think? Why else wouldn't you wear something if you think it looks good? Get over it! Get over caring what others think, I assure you not only will you happier, you'll look better. 

That's the thing about fashion I find that most people don't understand, they think it's some superficial thing based only on outward appearances. While I will concede it is largely that (lol), there's also a lot more to it. If you're confident in yourself and who you are, it's obvious, "Your clothes speak before you do". It's also evident when you're not, if you feel basic, you will look basic. At the risk of sounding INCREDIBLY cliche: In a world of basic bishes - be different. Seriously. Myself and everyone you encounter on a daily basis will thank you. XOXO

25 & Independent: Check out my bachelorette pad!

Apartment (Chateau Chic Pt. 2) Designed By: Me; Blazer/Pink Scoop Neck Tee: J.Crew; Necklace: Francesca's; Boyfriend Jeans: Rag & Bone; Strappy Sandals: Ivanka Trump; Bag: Hermes; Desk & Chair: Ethan & Allen: All Photos By: Alyssa Leong

25 trips around the sun is a big deal for me in many ways, as I'm sure it will continue to be. *~*~LIKE OMG I CAN RENT A CAR IN ALL STATES~*~*~ Not only does it mark a year of financial independence (note: the people I continue to keep in my life are there because I want them to be, not because I need them), it's also my 1 year anniversary of living in my very own apartment (Chateau Chic Pt 2)! That's right ladies & gents, I've lived by myself for a year, no roommates, no annoying messes to come home to -- and it's been nothing short of amazing. I always look at someone funny every time I hear them say: "Oh I would be terrified to live alone". The kind of look I give people that say they don't drink. Do you not like yourself, or are you afraid to be alone? Both things I would suggest looking further into. 

My obsession with skulls obviously permeates into every nook and cranny of Chateau Chic Pt. 2. Currently, I have 5 paintings, 1 pillow, 8 glasses, 1 tumbler, 1 candle, salt & pepper shakers, 6 coasters, 1 teapot, 2 teacups: all designed and dedicated to my affinity of skulls. Whenever someone comes over they either notice the skull influx right away, or not at all, perhaps they were aware of my predilection before entering. Why Skulls? There is nothing more vulnerable or intelligent than a skull. It encapsulates my favorite body part (my mind); now being a creature of the night and possessing a deep fondness for all the darker things in life may also have something to do with it.

Feels really good to be 25, feels even better to me! Cheers to 2015 being an amazing year for all XOXO

Current Favorite Denim: Boyfriend Jeans. The 'holier' the better. The perfect touch of masculine to an otherwise feminine frame/outfit. Turns out boys even like them, though they have no idea why ;) "I like it when you wear baggy pants!"

Passive Aggressive Men: Why They're Not Worth It And Never Will Be

Passivity by nature is something I am weary of when it comes to friends, and especially the men I become involved with. As passivity is often coupled with something much more red flag worthy - aggression. Myself, being overly blunt in most situations, has never had much patience for passive aggression. Say what you mean so we can move on! Nothing is less sexy than a passive man. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Instead, passive men do the said activity and make you pay for it later in covert ways that leave your head spinning as to why he is acting in such a way.

AVOID PEOPLE THAT AVOID CONFLICT AT ALL COSTS

Humans are incredibly varied, even being from the same family, same town, same school, none of this really matters because of inherent differences that make us special. Conflicts undoubtedly arise, and it's juvenile of you to think this is something that can be avoided. Screaming matches that involve slamming doors, throwing iPhones at walls, or black paint on a white carpet are at the very least non-productive. In fact, they are extremely unhealthy. However, expressing your thoughts and feelings is something you should unquestionably be able to do. If he starts to say in response, "You're so demanding. You're over-analyzing," that's degrading and conveniently takes all the blame off him and shifts it to you. Never apologize or question having respect for yourself. You know how you want to be treated, how you should be treated. If something bothers you, you should be able to talk about it openly, honestly, maturely with your partner. If you attempt to do this and your partner starts in along the lines of, "I don't like conflict. I don't like fighting. I don't think this. I don't want to do this." You are dealing with a passive aggressive man. What he's really saying is: "I don't want to be criticized, or to admit I have done anything wrong. You call me out when I do something you don't agree with, and I don't like it. I cannot show that I have become emotionally attached to you." 

PLAYING THE VICTIM

Suddenly, everything is your fault! He can't win for losing and he just, "Can't do anything right!!!" This man is excellent at making you feel like you have wronged him, he is incapable of making situations about anything except him. You're upset about something that happened at work earlier so naturally he exclaims, "Wow I must have done something wrong! I know I did!" Apparently everything you do is about him, as if you don't have a life and interests of your own outside of the relationship. Which is insulting to say the least.

HE'S AFRAID OF YOU

#Pussy. You already have one, you don't need another one! Most of the time, he'll tell you he's scared. Don't think that's 'cute', or something charming. He's afraid of developing emotions and feelings for someone he cannot control. Do not kid yourself. This calm, cool, collected guy is anything but. This is why they can be so hard to differentiate. Passive aggression is all about control. Withholding actual thoughts and feelings and punishing you for them at later dates so that the doesn't have to go through the 'trouble' of being open. God forbid he expose any part of himself. He never argues, he tries to see you, he is just such a nice guy.. The message is puzzling because it sends the opposite message than most negative behaviors send. The only women I've seen able to be in a relationship with a man like this are passive aggressive themselves. Therefore avoiding any sort of real intimacy or disclosure from both parties. #UnLatched

TAKE AWAY MESSAGE

It's entirely normal to get angry or frustrated when something that's angry or frustrating happens. It's perfectly healthy to communicate this message in a mature way to your partner. If they care for you, and want to make their relationship with you work, they will apologize and take responsibility if need be. This course of action is a two-way street, meaning you have to listen and take responsibility as well.. My two-cents: Avoid passive aggressive men unless you are a mind-reader and have exceedingly low expectations.